What I Would Tell Him…

I would tell him that I think I’m in love with him,
That I’m not quite sure, but it’s probably true.
I’d tell him that I think of him at odd times
And that the strangest things remind me of him
Like a Bible, or postcards, or even Bismarck.
That whenever I hear the sound of deep, stunning laughter
I get this funny, aching feeling in my heart.

I would tell him that I miss him whenever he’s not around,
That I miss him to a point somewhere beyond distraction.
I’d tell him I can’t focus on anything except him
And when I try, I just end up feeling frustrated and alone.
So I'll go running, which is very stupid of me
Because I'll just start thinking of him again, his voice in my head.
Telling me to keep moving, despite the fact that I hate it.

I would tell him that this is too hard,
That I need him to go already, and break my heart.
I’d tell him that he should leave and never come back.
And that yes, it is necessary.
That I don’t think I can go on with this existence.
Smiling, pretending everything is alright while I’m screaming inside.
Maybe I just won’t tell him anything at all.


Anonymous
01:58:27 PM