A ball of clay
Violet, with gentle thumb prints
Pressed by loving fingers.
Warm hands soften clay
Giving shape
Many colors
Multiple forms
Twisting together, shapes
Not just twisting, objects
An exercise in craft, love
A dim lamp
The light cuts through the dark, Scattering dust
Into their air-born dance
A human face in the clay
With loving thumbprints
On the mouth
On the eyes
Carefully molded
Enamored with its form
Anonymous
2/25/2006
05:19:53 PM
Violet, with gentle thumb prints
Pressed by loving fingers.
Warm hands soften clay
Giving shape
Many colors
Multiple forms
Twisting together, shapes
Not just twisting, objects
An exercise in craft, love
A dim lamp
The light cuts through the dark, Scattering dust
Into their air-born dance
A human face in the clay
With loving thumbprints
On the mouth
On the eyes
Carefully molded
Enamored with its form
Anonymous
2/25/2006
05:19:53 PM
6 Comments:
Great work. I saw a lot of nice imagery and compassion in this piece.
This is such garbage, and I wrote it. I'm glad some people glean enjoyment from it.. but I feel like it is rather sub par. Thank you for the kind words anonymous 1.
I am warmly ambivilant. That is to say, it's kind of touch and go. I've read this poem several times, and a few a liked it and a few I was like "meh."
The thumbprints are good, but the personifying verbs leave me cold.
Ah, I'm glad you took a look at this, tinted. I wrote it originally with the thought of thumbprints. That was the basis... and so the rest of it is, mediocre. I'm almost ashamed that you saw through it so easily ;)
shit
One aspect I noticed about this piece is its flexibility.
You could say:
a ball of clay
Violet, .....
or
A ball of clay violet,...
You could say
Giving shape
Many colors,
Multiple....
or
Giving shape many colors,
Multiple...
So it is as flexible as the clay subject of which you write. Interesting.
Post a Comment
<< Home