Okay, the visual, spatial aspect of this poem as I originally wrote it will be lost in this format, but hopefully the sound of the words will still come through.
A deep red sliding along a silver line
in mirrored unseen unison with hands sliding over flesh
one heart gleams a burgundy from the facets of its dark depths while another
overflows with warm
hot blood
coursing through veins beneath pale, soft white skin
rent by white ivory
harshandhardandohsosweet
lean back
and feel the bones within the flesh of searching fingers
tighten
against the curve of your spine
and glide
over
lands
you never knew…
caress
and gently,
gently…
until you see through touch
in the glowing light of a shared soul
the beauty no mirror could ever make you see.
Anonymous
07:19:20 PM
6 Comments:
Very sensual both in content and conveyance. This work is certainly vivid as it is an interesting rollercoaster for the eyes and mental ear, not an lackluster rollercoaster though. What did the spatial aspect contribute since it cannot be viewed here?
In Microsoft Word, the shorter lines near the end of the poem were spaces out across the page, read in a sort of undulating, curvy line that would have evoked the curves of the female body.
Or, so I intended anyway.
Intersting. I just finished a spatial poem regarding the comparison between Icarus and Lucifer. Isn't it fun!
RAM IT UP YOUR ASS
...
I like it a lot, OP. A lot. It feels like something I might have written, though, so this could just be some sort of selfish human pride speaking out here. But I doubt that.
I was about to pick out my favorite descriptive line, until I realized... I can't, really. I'd have to say it's the burgundy heart and the skin "rent by white ivory" that really get to me.
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