Victorian
It’s that quintessential moment
At the crowning of the night,
As my eager coachmen lingers
‘Neath the foggy streetlamp’s light.
There you step out from the darkness
With your pompadour flipped high
And those striking stick pin diamonds
To match the glittering in the sky.
There’s that naughty done-wrong feeling – there,
From which none can refrain.
Ay, it creeps up on our faces
And our smirk is just the same.
And arm and arm, and lip to lip
We steal down English streets,
Our tawdry minds both filled with sins
Confinéd to the sheets.
Our names and lands are on the line.
If these devilish acts were known.
But it makes it all the sweeter
Knowing you’re a woman - and not my own.
And those champagne nights and cheap delights
Of which we both abhor
Are swept away in single kiss
And the slam of a bedroom door.
Well…I might be a common man
And you, not a duchess in gems.
And this is all a fantasy.
No champagne and no Thames.
This may just be my fantasy
But this, my dear, is true.
I want to get Victorian
And cheat on her with you.
Anonymous
2/18/2006
02:41:26 PM
It’s that quintessential moment
At the crowning of the night,
As my eager coachmen lingers
‘Neath the foggy streetlamp’s light.
There you step out from the darkness
With your pompadour flipped high
And those striking stick pin diamonds
To match the glittering in the sky.
There’s that naughty done-wrong feeling – there,
From which none can refrain.
Ay, it creeps up on our faces
And our smirk is just the same.
And arm and arm, and lip to lip
We steal down English streets,
Our tawdry minds both filled with sins
Confinéd to the sheets.
Our names and lands are on the line.
If these devilish acts were known.
But it makes it all the sweeter
Knowing you’re a woman - and not my own.
And those champagne nights and cheap delights
Of which we both abhor
Are swept away in single kiss
And the slam of a bedroom door.
Well…I might be a common man
And you, not a duchess in gems.
And this is all a fantasy.
No champagne and no Thames.
This may just be my fantasy
But this, my dear, is true.
I want to get Victorian
And cheat on her with you.
Anonymous
2/18/2006
02:41:26 PM
3 Comments:
Nice use of rhyme and rhythm, accompanied by excellent imagery of Victorian England and all the down-and-dirty affairs that went on there. My favorite lines are the last four-- the phrase "get Victorian" being the best gem.
Sir or Miss, I must say this is a unique piece. Obviously the coy use of imagery and language orchestrate a brilliant setting that forms the poem in ways not seen on this site. Your first line had the word "quintessential" in it, and therefore earns bonus points. You paid attention to rhyme, rhythm, and phonetic tickles of sound, making this an enjoyable piece. Well done.
Hm, it felt kind of like an ill-conceived rap song, but I like it.
Unlike Maverick, I won't give you points for using a word with more than three syllables. He seems to like those :D
I will give you points for the meter. There are only a few places where your inflection is either off, or not clear.
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